Stopping Time

Time seems like it's going faster.  Maybe that just means I'm getting older.  The weeks are flying by and I want to slow it all down.  I want more hours in the day and definitely more hours in the night.  It's just so damn crazy.  

Not to get all Alanis Morissette on you, but it's just so damn ironic, don't ya think?  When I was preteen, all I wanted to do was grow up.  Because just like every other naive kid, I thought being all grown up meant you had control over your life.  And living with a mentally ill mother on the edge, I so wanted some control.  

Well of course the ironic part is, here I am all grown up and there's still no control.   I can't make my kids stay little, sweet and cuddly.  I can't make time go slower to appreciate all the good moments in a day.  Maybe I'm being greedy and selfish, but it's just going too fast.

What I do have control over is how much I love those good moments.  Like when the kids are nice to each other.  When JT gets so excited about learning the "sh" sound blend in kindergarten. When we play I Spy while we're waiting for anything or anyone.

Or when all of them are mesmerized by the payphone at the library.  "Mommy, what is this?" Lucy asked. 

When Wade insists on wearing a baseball batting helmet to eat lunch. (Smart kid really, it can get rough around here.)

And in typical kid fashion, they are all ready for the next season and time is going "sooooo slow." I get it.  I also get that if I tell them to appreciate the moment the older ones will roll their eyes like I know nothing.

Wade is ready for baseball season.  

Even though it's going at warp speed and that gives me mini panic attacks, if I really stop and think about it I am excited about the next season too. I had lunch with a friend whose kids are older and she was talking about homecoming dances, cell phones, and more.  Hell yes, it scares me, but I am looking forward to seeing who my kids become.

I was thinking about this last night as the family sat together in the living room for a rare story reading of a Berenstain Bears classic.  My oldest, pre-tween was not having it.  He was giving all kinds of attitude.  I swear to god my first reaction was I wanted to flip him off.  Thankfully I do have some self control and instead told him to go up to his room.  

"See ya," he said flippantly.  

"See ya," I replied defiantly.

Ah yes, these sweet moments are going so fast.  Okay so maybe I don't mind some moments zipping right on by.  But all that other good stuff, I will soak it up and savor it.