Garden Envy

These are not my flower boxes.  I have no flower boxes.

I sadly have no flowers, no lush garden overflowing with beautiful blooms.  

Nope, these aren't mine either.

What I do have is garden envy.  And a whole lot of weeds.


I always thought gardening was like cooking--anyone can do it.  Read a recipe dummy and magically a meal will appear.  But that's crap.  I've always struggled with keeping plants and flowers alive.  I read if they need full sun or shade, most of the time.  I water them regularly, sometimes.  Okay, so I'm not the best plant recipe reader/follower.  


We lived at our last house for 12 years.  I tried all different kinds of combinations of flowers and plants.  The two things I found that I could grow really well were Hostas and Impatiens.  It took years, but I finally got the place looking pretty good.  Not garden tour worthy, but good. (Never did get that vegetable or herb garden going that I dreamed of though. Waaaa.)


Our new place?  It is embarrassingly awful.  Maybe it's because we are renters and that's why I've been avoiding the whole gardening thing.  I didn't want to invest.  The weeds weren't my fault.  The remnants of failed gardening attempts by tenants who lived here before us were other people's mistakes, not mine for once.  


Finally though I couldn't take it and I planted my no-fail Impatiens.  But guess what?  I killed them.  

My sad looking yard, looks even sadder.


In fact, my yard looks like the bad guy's house in TV shows complete with a chain link fence in the back yard.  It's not good.

My crazy mother always has beautiful flowers, always.  Even when there are times when she can't take care of herself, there are those beautiful flowers thriving.  I come from a long line of anxiety-ridden, issue-filled women who can f-ing garden like champs.


I must have the green thumb gene in me somewhere.  Lord knows I've done my blood line proud carrying on the off-balance, emotional issues.  Maybe I just haven't tapped into my gardening gene.  But I have to believe it's there.  


It's time to commit to making this rental house our home, whether we are here for eight more months or eight more years.  It's time to appreciate and care for the space we are in right now, in this moment.  


So my apologies to my new-ish neighbors, but I will be trying a few planting combinations over the next few weeks.  Hopefully some will work and I will find my dormant green thumb.


While I'm not gardening, we are having fun.  Three days in and summer is officially pretty rad.

I should try this.  I relate to this commercial "the plants smell our fear." Love it.