I have a tendency to over-complicate, over-dramatize, over-analyze, over-commit... In fact, you might say I'm really good at those things. While part of me is proud I am really good at something, I am also frustrated. It gets old being the one that worries, gets too busy and feels crazy and tired. I'm over it.
Friday night I woke up in the middle of the night full of anxiety. I worried about how I shouldn't have signed up to run a certain volunteer project which led to worry about how I forgot to RSVP to one of the kids' friends' birthday parties which led to worry about how much I ate that day which led to worry that I was losing so much sleep worrying and that I would be exhausted the next day and eat more. Ugh.
That's what I like to call Sunday night thinking on a Friday night. That kind of anxiety should probably never happen, but if it does it should NEVER happen going into the weekend. Duh. Rookie mistake. I shook it off and went back to sleep.
Saturday I woke up and told Tim about my night. He always seems shocked about the way my brain works. I'm married to a man who says he's never been depressed and can't wrap his head around the whole idea of it. When he listens to my over-complication, over-worry, over-etc., he looks both fascinated and fearful.
One night last week, he came home and asked if I'd ever heard that new song from Pink and the guy from FUN. I was surprised because Tim usually only listens to sports talk radio. I knew the song he was talking about. "It is so us," he said.
The song where Pink is all over-thinking and dark and over-complicated and the dude from FUN is all confused and like why are you so upset...."it's all in your mind." Tim and I listened to the song together and I was like, um, yeah, it's great....it's our song. Our song where I'm the screwed up, crazy, tired one. Waaaaa.
Whatever. I'm over it. I can learn to love again Pink. And it is a good song. I'll simplify. I won't sweat the small stuff. Although that phrase makes me think of this guy I worked with that was really into those books "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" when they first came out and he died suddenly. Oh god, it isn't working, I'm over-thinking. Maybe I'll take cues from kids on making it simple.
This past weekend, watching my kids and their simple pleasures was pretty inspiring.
Tim bought them marbles at the grocery store and they acted like it was the greatest toy ever. Yeah, all their friends have iPod Touches, but they have marbles and they love it.
The sun was shining for the first time in what seems like 877 days and the kids ran out to play. They acted like it was the first day of summer vacation or that we told them we were going to Disney World. Simple happiness.
They get worried or scared and they have each other. It's simple, it is.
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| not my quuote, but a good one |
Friday night I woke up in the middle of the night full of anxiety. I worried about how I shouldn't have signed up to run a certain volunteer project which led to worry about how I forgot to RSVP to one of the kids' friends' birthday parties which led to worry about how much I ate that day which led to worry that I was losing so much sleep worrying and that I would be exhausted the next day and eat more. Ugh.
That's what I like to call Sunday night thinking on a Friday night. That kind of anxiety should probably never happen, but if it does it should NEVER happen going into the weekend. Duh. Rookie mistake. I shook it off and went back to sleep.
Saturday I woke up and told Tim about my night. He always seems shocked about the way my brain works. I'm married to a man who says he's never been depressed and can't wrap his head around the whole idea of it. When he listens to my over-complication, over-worry, over-etc., he looks both fascinated and fearful.
One night last week, he came home and asked if I'd ever heard that new song from Pink and the guy from FUN. I was surprised because Tim usually only listens to sports talk radio. I knew the song he was talking about. "It is so us," he said.
The song where Pink is all over-thinking and dark and over-complicated and the dude from FUN is all confused and like why are you so upset...."it's all in your mind." Tim and I listened to the song together and I was like, um, yeah, it's great....it's our song. Our song where I'm the screwed up, crazy, tired one. Waaaaa.
Whatever. I'm over it. I can learn to love again Pink. And it is a good song. I'll simplify. I won't sweat the small stuff. Although that phrase makes me think of this guy I worked with that was really into those books "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" when they first came out and he died suddenly. Oh god, it isn't working, I'm over-thinking. Maybe I'll take cues from kids on making it simple.
This past weekend, watching my kids and their simple pleasures was pretty inspiring.
Tim bought them marbles at the grocery store and they acted like it was the greatest toy ever. Yeah, all their friends have iPod Touches, but they have marbles and they love it.
The sun was shining for the first time in what seems like 877 days and the kids ran out to play. They acted like it was the first day of summer vacation or that we told them we were going to Disney World. Simple happiness.
They get worried or scared and they have each other. It's simple, it is.
I love this post. I have the same worry problem and a husband who doesn't understand.
ReplyDeleteme too.
ReplyDeleteall of this.
ME TOO.
also, remember when i posted that pic of my dad showing deven the finer points of marble shooting? she's been kind of obsessed since then, and the people who live in our house next are going to wonder how all those marbles got into the duct work.
Me too, sister. Me too. We could all take a few cues from our kids.
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny that you would write about that Pink song because my husband and I are the exact same way. I'm like you and he's like Tim. Sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) it's hard to be married to someone that doesn't have a clue about my brand of crazy, but also nice in a way because I think he keeps me from totally going over the edge sometimes. ANYWAY. The other day in the car, that song came on and he turned it up and said it reminded him of us, and this from a dude that usually does not pay attention to song lyrics. By the way, I rarely comment, but read every day:)
ReplyDeleteHey there! I totally agree, it is frustrating, but my husband keeps me from "totally going over the edge sometimes" too. Totally. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!!!!!
ReplyDelete