It's almost Mother's Day.
I've been a mother for almost 12 years. I have four kids. I know things.
I know that mothering is some kind of wonderful. It's also hard. And funny and complicated and conflicted. It's all I'm going to drain your body of energy, but fill your heart with so much love. So much love you will feel like you're going to burst. With pride. With worry. With compassion. With anger. With love. Love.
I know that it's hard to feel like a good mother. We compare, we judge, we worry, we stress. So many decisions to make--big and small. So many opinions.
Most of us mothers are doing the best we can. The other night, as we were getting ready to race to my son's baseball game I had to come up with something for dinner. I hurriedly cooked some gluten free noodles, slathered them with butter and threw Parmesan cheese on them. I put them in a container that would keep the noodles warm, grabbed some frozen peas, plates,forks, cups and a jug of water. Feeling proud of myself for preparing an awesome picnic dinner, I smiled and felt like a good mother.
"We're having a picnic dinner at the game," I told the kids while we were driving to the field.
"What! I HATE buttered noodles," Lucy said sneering.
JT cried and said it was the worst night ever.
"No noodles!," Wade screamed and kicked the back of my seat.
Peyton just looked out the window wishing he was in another family with a better dinner. And probably a better mother.
Tim was working late and probably getting some dinner in a drive thru somewhere on his way home.
In an instant, I went from amazing-I-can-do-it-all, super mom who can prepare a fun picnic dinner and get the kid to the game all in one fell swoop to a complete failure.
Sitting in the minivan in the parking lot at the baseball game, after Peyton went to warm up with his team, we cried a little. Yeah, over noodles (and overbusy schedules, and lack of sleep, and summer weather with homework, waaaaa).
Once we all got over it we made our way to the field with our sh*tty picnic dinner in hand. We laid out the blanket and I started dishing out the noodles. The kids reluctantly started eating. Those kids ate everything and then asked for seconds. Are you kidding me?
Other mothers and a few dads said how impressed they were with our spread.
"You are so together Angela, look at you" one mom said. I thought she was making fun of me at first. ( And she obviously doesn't read the blog.) But she was being sincere. She thought I had something together. She had no idea what a disaster it had been just 10 minutes earlier in the minivan where I contemplated throwing the noodles at the screaming kids and yelling "I HATE BUTTERED NOODLES TOO YOU *@&^$?#s!!"
But that's the thing, mothering is ups and downs and lefts and rights and crazy like that. It's highs and lows, I hate you and your noodles, oh wait I love you and your noodles.
I know that it's hard, but we mothers have to trust ourselves and be kind to ourselves. Our decisions may not look like everyone else's and that's okay. Other mother's lives may look perfect and like they have it all together, but you have to know they have crazy buttered noodle moments too. Because that's motherhood. I know that for sure, this week.
Here's what else I know (this week):
- Aretha Franklin's song Natural Woman is a sweet Mother's Day song. Remember when Candace Bergen's character sang it to her newborn in the hospital on Murphy Brown? So good.
- The game of LIFE is all about money. We just bought the old-fashioned board game last week and the kids love it. I didn't remember how the game revolved around money. All I cared about when I was kid, was the how many children I could put in the car. Sort of foreshadowing!
It was unnerving watching 6-year-old JT get so excited about winning $5,000 in Las Vegas. Um, what? |
- This is an amazing Mother's Day Note from the amazing Kelly Corrigan.
- Lucy really wishes she had a sister. So she pretends Wade is the sister she never had.
- This week's vlog is about putting off stuff because of motherhood and being a feminist SAHM. Check it out if you missed it.
- It goes fast. I can't believe I have a son as tall as me.
What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. What are you doing for Mother's Day? Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.
Come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.
I'm linking up today with my good buddy Greta from Gfunkified.com and Sarah at SundaySpill.com for the #iPPP link up. They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones. Check them out.
Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel here.
I absolutely love the buttered noodle story. You've pretty much captured my life perfectly, and yours too, I know. Motherhood is exactly how you've described it, and yeah, sometimes you need a good cry in the cray before you pull yourself together.
ReplyDeleteAlso, poor WADE!!! :D
Bahaha! That should say "van", not "cray", although, I think they both work. ;)
DeleteI think they both work too! I'm so glad you get what I'm saying. Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!
Deleteyou are my new favorite person. I love this. I love you for writing this. I completely wholeheartedly needed to read this. thank you. happy mother's day Angela!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank YOU! I'm glad we are not alone on this crazy, fun, tiring motherhood journey. Hope you had a good Mother's Day!
DeleteYes we all do have buttered noodle moments, and thank you for sharing the roughness with the soft.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading! Hope you had a great Mother's Day!
Deletewell, I am not really doing much. Just having the whole day for me. (did I say it out loud? - don't tell the husband shhhh)
ReplyDeleteHope you had a wonderful day yesterday!
DeleteI'm so glad I came over to read this! My blog for ippp this week is about family outings as well and about how usually someone cries or pukes...
ReplyDeleteBut trying again and again is all we can do and if it's with buttered noodles, all the better ;)
Happy Mother's Day to You! (Have to go and like your Facebook page right now, love your blog!)
Happy Mother's Day, hope you had a wonderful day!
DeleteYES. so much yes with the buttered noodles. big love to you, mama!
ReplyDeletealso, i pretty much know nothing for sure these days. oh wait - i'm pretty good at moving house to house. i'm good at putting kids to bed, even when "IT'S STILL DAYTIIIIIME" outside. i make a mean meatball, even if my kids won't eat it. ;)
Hope you had a good Mother's Day my friend.
DeleteI am VERY impressed that you are good at moving, I am beyond terrible at that. Actually your whole good at list is impressive, YOU are an amazing mama.
My life, my motherhood, is like that too. Earlier this week I CRIED after a rough day (emotionally) because my youngest got in trouble at afterschool care for ripping the seat out of her pants on purpose. I'd been trying to hold it in all day and I just ... couldn't take it.
ReplyDeleteWhat I know for sure? I can't do anything. And what I can't literally do, I can do through delegation or by being resourceful. I went back to school in August and in this one year my life's been turned upside down again - divorce, a move, a new house & renovations, changes at work (which resulted in more responsibility for me) - and I've been able to pull a 4.0 off through it all.
I'm braggy right now, or I feel that way, but I feel victorious and I hope it's teaching my children that (A) they should finish school before having children, (B) nothing's impossible, (C) don't let anything hold you back and (D) hard work pays off.
This is my first time commenting, I think, but I've been reading for a few weeks (since I found MamaKat). You're hilarious and I can always count on your videos to make me laugh!
You are amazing!!! I love that you shared your victories-- a 4.0!?! That is so awesome. Thank you for reading, commenting and being so honest and real.
DeleteEEK! I mean I CAN do anything! lol. And I'm an editor. *FACEPALM*
ReplyDeleteGorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteJust the kind of post about motherhood that needs to be read. That's just full of truth, whether bad or good, beautiful or ugly. Thank you.
Have a wonderful Mother's Day, Angela!
Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope you had a good Mother's Day!
DeleteI know Greta and Sarah (oh yeah, and most of those people above), and one of them (forgot who) directed me to this post. Gorgeous! Completely!
ReplyDeleteWe're GF too.
My kids hate my cooking too, but they would much rather have buttered noodles than the thai peanut noodles I dished them up today for lunch.
Oooh, the thai peanut noodles sound so good! Thanks for reading and commenting. Hope you had a good Mother's Day!
DeleteConfession: I wish I had it half as together as people seem to think I do... That would be lovely! I'm all for Fake It Till You Make It, but still. A dress rehearsal would be great sometimes, you know?
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh, I would love a dress rehearsal sometimes for sure.
Delete