Today I'm 40

This badass picture is from the fabulous, creative genius Jarrad Henderson who was our photographer for the LTYM event. And now our friend for life. Check him out at jarradhenderson.com.

Today I'm 40.

It feels good to get on this side of 39.  I feel like I'm in sort of the sweet spot of aging--I'm owning the whole getting older and wiser thang.  I'm old enough to know I can type or say "thang" and not give a shit (I still never type "cuz" or "ya").  I'm old enough to know that comfortable pants and sleep really do matter.  I'm old enough to know that things don't work out the way you want them too a lot of the time, and that sometimes they are better than you ever could have imagined or dreamed and sometimes not so much.   I'm still young enough to have most of my parts working like they always have (except my metabolism, that died at 36).  I'm young enough to have the luxury to be patient with myself and life.

At 40 I appreciate more.  I appreciate good music and good wine.  I appreciate silliness and dancing ( a lot).  I appreciate time.  I appreciate the other side of pain and struggle.

Today I'm celebrating not just all the good stuff that 40 is.  I'm celebrating this side of 39, because this past year was a particularly hard one.  It was a year I fought through, and for.  It was raw and ugly, trudging through mud, smiling through grief, battling demons, fighting off the monster that is anxiety...it was intense and powerful.  It was setting boundaries, seeing situations clearly for the first time, letting go, moving on.

Today I am celebrating breaking on through to the other side like an overplayed Doors' song, that sadly I always relate to really bad fraternity parties in the early 90s.

There were some really high highs this year, ahem, my stage debut.  And a million small, wonderful, heart-crushingly sweet moments.  The painful parts of this year make me appreciate all of the good stuff so much more.

Because on this side of 39, I am old enough to really get that life isn't all one way--it's not all good or all bad.  I'm old enough to understand and accept that there's always going to be good and bad, light and dark, ugly and beautiful, joy and pain.  

Today I'm 40.  I'm going to celebrate.  I'm going to dance.  I'm going break on through to the other side.

Dance with me.  Here are a few of my favorite dance jams of all time:

Gladys Knight's I've Got To Use My Imagination

Madonna's Holiday


Crystal Water's Pure Love


Tina Turner's Proud Mary