Turning 40 & Freedom From Panty Lines

I am less than a week away from turning 40, and that means I am thinking about a lot, taking stock and possibly overanalyzing.  I'm thinking about where I've been, where I want to go and panty lines.  Yeah, panty lines.

I'm not just thinking about them, I am embracing them.  After years of trying to conceal and feeling shame, I am now proudly not giving a fuck.  

My obsession with panty lines started when I was quite young.  I spent a lot of my time watching TV. A lot of time.  You might say TV was sort of my best friend growing up, my teacher, my mentor (analyzing that is a whole other blog post, people).  I remember sitting on the floor in front of our giant wooden television set taking it all in.  Not only did I learn about the world through soap operas like One Life To Live and sitcoms like One Day At A Time, I learned about the world through commercials.  While other kids were playing house I was reenacting commercials.  One of my favorite commercials was for Underalls.  Remember that one?  "Show us your Underalls!" the women shouted and they would turn their panty line-free rear ends to the screen and laugh.  They had no panty lines and they were so happy.  They were wearing pantyhose and panties all in one!  What? My mind was blown. 

No panytlines = happiness.  Got it.

The tag line of this commercial is "who looks good in panty lines?" Um, no one in 1986 I guess.

As I got older, I turned to other sources for my no panty line=happiness education.  I was 19 and studying abroad when I first discovered thongs.  They seemed so adult, so risqué, so sexy, so everything I wanted to be at 19.  Yeah, I thought thongs were sophisticated and so something someone on One Life To Live would have worn. Duh.

When  I arrived home with several thongs in my suitcase I felt like a real trendsetter.  "You guys, they are awesome, no panty lines," I told my friends.

No panty lines = happiness.  Thongs = sexy, grown up lady. Got it.

I spent most of my 20s and sadly my 30s avoiding panty lines and wearing thong underwear.  So what I'm telling you is I spent most of my 20s and 30s being insecure and uncomfortable.

Last May, I helped put together a storytelling show and performed a story on stage myself.  I was so busy with producing/directing/behind-the-scenes stuff that I didn't pay attention too much to my wardrobe.  As I  left my house I remember thinking "Damn, I forgot the right underwear.  I'm going to have panty lines! Oh no!" I got so busy, I forgot.  Until right before showtime, right before I was about to go on stage.  But by then it was too late.

I went on stage with my cotton Hanes Her Way panty lines in full view and guess what? Nothing happened.  The people that liked my story clapped.  No one threw tomatoes at me and yelled "Your panty line is hideous, you disgust me!"  

Since that day, I haven't given one flying fig about hiding my panty line.  In fact, I wear my panty lines proudly, like a badge of honor.  I am almost 40, my name is Angela and I dare to wear underwear that is comfortable.  I refuse to apologize for my panty lines--or my body, or my weight, or the lines in my forehead or the crows feet around my eyes.  

I am less than a week away from being 40 and it feels good to embrace my body and reclaim comfort and confidence.  That right there?  That = happiness.