When all my kids were little I remember people saying "just wait for the teenage years" and laugh in a menacing kind of way. Or people would say "enjoy them now." It all felt very negative and sad and sort of scary, like there was nothing good ahead. Like once kids hit puberty it all sucked.
And here's the thing, those people had a lot of good points, but it doesn't all suck. They were right that puberty can suck the sweetness out of sweet kids, especially girls. They were right that it feels hard and exhausting trying to keep up with tweens and teens' mood swings, and worrying about all of their big kid problems. It can make you crazy when you think about all the trouble they could get into and the zero control you really have over some of it or any of it. I mean friends, mean girls and bullies and social media and holy fuck, drugs! and driving and sex and grades and college and self-esteem and all the choices and ahhhhhhh! Yeah, that stuff can suck. BUT it's not ALL overwhelming and scary as hell....older kids can be really fun and interesting and cool.
My big kids and I have deeper conversations about bigger things. They understand more. They can do more. And they can make pancakes!
I won't lie and tell you that the tween/teen jabs and eye rolls can make me cry. If I'm the least bit vulnerable or overtired, you better believe an unappreciative "geez mom" accompanied with a you-are-the-worst! type of glare can make me want to throw my hands up in the air, and then cry. BUT it's not the whole story. Puberty sucks more for them than me. It was a long time ago, but I can sort of remember how confusing and horrible and uncomfortable all the hormones and all the changes and all the uncertainty was. So I try to remember that and the fact that I'm a grown up and can handle the eye rolls. I also think about all the other parts of them and how we are going to love our way through this tween/teen phase.
And how funny it can all be....
With four kids there will be so many years of hormones and puberty and angst and worry, but there will also be so many interesting conversations and fun and love.
Here's an Uncle Buck clip with THE stare....
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| During Christmas break, the kids made breakfast. They actually got along and laughed and talked and danced too. |
I won't lie and tell you that the tween/teen jabs and eye rolls can make me cry. If I'm the least bit vulnerable or overtired, you better believe an unappreciative "geez mom" accompanied with a you-are-the-worst! type of glare can make me want to throw my hands up in the air, and then cry. BUT it's not the whole story. Puberty sucks more for them than me. It was a long time ago, but I can sort of remember how confusing and horrible and uncomfortable all the hormones and all the changes and all the uncertainty was. So I try to remember that and the fact that I'm a grown up and can handle the eye rolls. I also think about all the other parts of them and how we are going to love our way through this tween/teen phase.
And how funny it can all be....
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| Look at that face Lucy is making at me. Lol!!!! Even she laughed after I showed it to her. We call it the Uncle Buck stare inspired by John Candy's character niece. Remember? |
With four kids there will be so many years of hormones and puberty and angst and worry, but there will also be so many interesting conversations and fun and love.
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| Big kids can volunteer with their bossy mom at church packing Christmas food boxes. |
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| Having big kids means everyone gets to see the new Star Wars movie together. No sitters! |
Here's an Uncle Buck clip with THE stare....
(Click this to watch the clip)
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