Doing Whatever I Want

Tim took all the kids to JT's baseball tournament in Indiana this past weekend. I had to work and had deadlines for articles and couldn't go. At first I felt guilty and upset. I cried. When I came home from work Friday night after the kids and Tim had already left, I found a bottle of wine and a note on the counter. 

The note said:

Enjoy some time alone, I miss you, I miss us.
Sit on the porch, pour a glass of wine, smell the lilacs and relax.
I truly love you.

Love, Tim

It was what I needed to read. Tim knows me well. He knows that I need alone time to feel more normal. So, I sat on my porch and got a little drunk.

Then I watched a movie, Sisters (sort of funny, but not the funniest ever). I worked a little. I ate a lot. I took the dogs for walks. I drank more. I worked more. I slept in. I watched a documentary on Richard Linklater (so awesome! I'm a fan.). 


(click here to watch the video)

I worked again. I danced in my kitchen. I played my records. I watched stupid clips on YouTube. I made a pizza for myself. I drank more. I slept more. 

My friend brought me a coffee on Sunday morning. She knew I needed caffeine from all my day drinking and to get all the work done. And yes, I'm listening to the Dazed And Confused soundtrack. Love it!

This morning I woke up refreshed. Happy. Relaxed. 
I've been feeling so run down lately and a little anxious and even more sensitive than usual. It turns out I what I needed was a little time to do whatever the hell I wanted.

Kids are back, routines (or my attempt at them) are back, crazy busy pace is back and I'm all "Let's do this!"