The other night, my house was like a scene out of It's A Wonderful Life.
Not the happy scene at the end or the dopey "hee haw" scenes in the middle. Nope. I was grumpy. I was snapping at the children like mean, overwhelmed George Bailey when he yells at his daughter to stop playing the piano. I was looking around my living room noticing all the bad parts like G.B. does in his drafty old house. And then, just like G.B. I stormed out of the house all upset into the snowy night wondering if I was messing everything up and even making a difference to anyone and waaaaaa.
I didn't go to a bridge or see an angel. I cried in my minivan for a minute. I went to the gym and ran on a treadmill, then took a shower. I went to Target and bought a couple Christmas presents. I walked slowly. I smiled at strangers and said Merry Christmas to a few people. I bought a health magazine and a candy bar for myself. I went back into my minivan and ate my candy bar and scrolled through the pictures on my phone and on my Instagram account.
The pictures were filled with all the good times we've had lately. The holiday parties, the cookie baking, the snowball fights, cuddling on the couch, the candlelit dinners, the nature walks, the dogs, the kids...my whole life. So yeah, Clarence wasn't showing me what life would be like without me in it, but I saw the light. My angel was Instagram. The light was all the moments and memories and love.
I may do so many things wrong and just like G.B. not have the finest house or the best things, but god dammit I have a great family (even the teenagers!) and we have fun. Not to sound like a corny character from a movie made in 1946, but hot dog, I feel like the richest gal in the town.
I went home with a renewed sense of purpose to find my kids actually concerned about me, even the teenagers. I went to bed happy and hopeful. And so grateful. I know for sure that even though it's messy and imperfect and I get grumpy and overwhelmed, I love my life and my family.
Here's what else I know for sure right now:
What do you know for sure right now?
Not the happy scene at the end or the dopey "hee haw" scenes in the middle. Nope. I was grumpy. I was snapping at the children like mean, overwhelmed George Bailey when he yells at his daughter to stop playing the piano. I was looking around my living room noticing all the bad parts like G.B. does in his drafty old house. And then, just like G.B. I stormed out of the house all upset into the snowy night wondering if I was messing everything up and even making a difference to anyone and waaaaaa.
I didn't go to a bridge or see an angel. I cried in my minivan for a minute. I went to the gym and ran on a treadmill, then took a shower. I went to Target and bought a couple Christmas presents. I walked slowly. I smiled at strangers and said Merry Christmas to a few people. I bought a health magazine and a candy bar for myself. I went back into my minivan and ate my candy bar and scrolled through the pictures on my phone and on my Instagram account.
The pictures were filled with all the good times we've had lately. The holiday parties, the cookie baking, the snowball fights, cuddling on the couch, the candlelit dinners, the nature walks, the dogs, the kids...my whole life. So yeah, Clarence wasn't showing me what life would be like without me in it, but I saw the light. My angel was Instagram. The light was all the moments and memories and love.
I may do so many things wrong and just like G.B. not have the finest house or the best things, but god dammit I have a great family (even the teenagers!) and we have fun. Not to sound like a corny character from a movie made in 1946, but hot dog, I feel like the richest gal in the town.
I went home with a renewed sense of purpose to find my kids actually concerned about me, even the teenagers. I went to bed happy and hopeful. And so grateful. I know for sure that even though it's messy and imperfect and I get grumpy and overwhelmed, I love my life and my family.
Here's what else I know for sure right now:
- New traditions rock. I am a huge fan of traditions. Lately I've been trying to add new ones. Traditions that I can see us doing when the kids come home from college or bring their significant others home. It feels crazy to type things like that but it's happening....my kids are growing up.
 |
| A backyard bonfire on winter solstice is our new tradition and I LOVE it. |
- Big kids are fun too. Sometimes a sweet nature walk turns into a snowball fight/king of the hill/snow mound war. And that's okay, it's fun too.
- I love a good mashup of pop music. Here's one for 2016!
- There's nothing better than going to the movies. I am acutally sounding more and more like a gal from the 1940s because there is nothing I would like better than going to the picture show once a week. :) I love this time of year because of all the Oscar buzz and movie talk. I have a lot of plans to see a lot of movies. I saw Jackie this week, it was good. This movie looks good too.
What do you know for sure right now?
Merry Christmas!
No comments:
Post a Comment